The thought of going back to school wasn’t effective enough to instill the ” down memory lane” nostalgia. Of late I’ve become quite an unemotional and distant individual.
But this strange thing happened. Love is a funny thing. And so very strange. Having left the conference and the campus behind, I have this funny little feeling inside as the taxi makes its way through traffic. Not devastating or euphoric, just a funny little thing.
The other day, I was thinking how foolishly I had been in love with this girl on campus. Today it matters so little. Then there’s the boy I had fallen head over heels for, who at that time had a girl. And then the professor whom I’ve never even considered.
Hostel rooms. The breeze from the window on the seventh floor will test your indifference to a point where you are bound to surrender. And so I did. I missed the girl. I had met her on this very balcony and year and a half back. Strangely enough, I ended up writing a letter to her. I caught a glimpse of her on campus later today. The heart skipped a beat, I was my stupid self again for the next ten minutes.
I knew I would be glad to meet the boy. I sure was happy to see him. Hugging him felt a little closer to home. Familiarity.
The most unexpected bit was the professor of course. I’m used to his overtures. I always thought he was old. And married. But I never had come to the second point. He’d be rejected by the brain at first thought. But he had been persistent at one point. He’d even called me pretty. And intelligent. The former I have never had anyone say to me. There was this instant excitement at the pit of the stomach on seeing him. I was excited. His never ending, yet gently persistent handshake felt good. As I sat beside him in the conference, I realised that he was not that old. He looked surprisingly handsome. And so intelligent. I couldn’t but not notice how attracted I was to him. And how good i felt that he had chosen to sit beside me. He has his strange ways. So I let it be.
Missed chances, opportunities intentionally let gone, and irrationally rational decisions.
It indeed is a funny little thing.