“I’m burning through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That’s why they call me Mr. Fahrenheit
I’m travelling at the speed of light”
The fluctuations in my levels of optimism scares the hell out of me. Say you’re breezing down the road on a bike, you’re in control, and then suddenly out of nowhere you snap back, hands are off the accelerator and you fly off the bike like it’s a dream.
Have you felt this way? An event that makes you feel invincible throughout the day. You’re chirpy and energetic; you have the solution to every problem. You’re riding the high, only to snap back and put on the headphones, lest all the optimism pours out way too soon.
It leaves me feeling so exhausted. It bothers me that I can’t be this optimistic person without external stimuli. It’s empowering to see that you’re doing better than other people around you at taking care of yourself; that you need not depend on anything/one else to control your life, and then you get stuck in the loop of control. Why do you need to be so much in control? why is it not okay to feel optimistic?
On some days, you do great. Some days are slower. It feels like the peak needs to be curtailed. Saved for those days when things frustrate the being out of you.
Till then, breathe, calm down. You’re fine, you’re doing fine. Brake once a while. You won’t fly off the bike. And if you do, you can put yourself back up again.